Friday, 3 July 2015

The elusive gentleman

You lift your hat, I'll lift my skirts... To show you my ankle.
Since my mother has moved in with us, old black and white movies have taken over our living room T.V. I love watching them. Everything was so glamorous and the men, while wearing their pants ridiculously high, were real men. They'd stand when a lady entered the room, stood or sat at a table. They tipped their hats, pulled out chairs, offered their arm and gave up seats on the bus.

Holding doors and saying, 'Ladies first' seems to be going extinct these days. I was watching the episode of friends last night where Rachel ends up dating Ross' girlfriends father played by Bruce Willis. Each time Rachael left the table at the restaurant to go to the bathroom, he would stand. When she returned, he pulled out her chair and stood, waited for her to sit, and then sat himself. It looked weird and exhausting in this modern day setting. Had my kids been there to watch, they would have asked, "Why does he keep standing like that?!" and that makes me sad.

I have a thing with men. They intimidate me. I'm not sure if that's all women or not, maybe I shouldn't even be saying this but, it's a fact. If I'm alone with a man that I don't know, I'm uncomfortable. I had to get my furnace cleaned out last month and two men came to do it. I wanted to bolt but instead, to make myself more at ease, I called my father-in-law to come and hang out until they finished. Later that week, I was walking across the street to get my kid from school. At the same time an older man got off the bus right next to me. I smiled at him, said hello when he smiled back however despite my friendly exterior, I was cringing inside. Having to walk a foot in front of him freaked me out. I could have cried when out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slow down, head toward the left side of me, in the grass, and walk purposely in my line of vision, but with some distance between us. He must have recognized the shock and awe on my face because when I turned to look at him, he smiled, waved and bowed to me. HE BOWED! I swear, this little man was seventy years old at least and I swooned like a boy-band loving teenager girl. Maybe his mama was like me and taught him to keep his distance from women, to make them more comfortable.

...Unless she's your grandma
My husband also surprised me the other day whilst we were out for our usual Sunday drive. He was telling me about this Purolator that delivered to his work who was super friendly, but very loud and had the mouth of a sailor. Don't get me wrong, swear words to me are my second language. Nothing adds more flavor and spice to a sentence like a good old F-bomb however, I wouldn't use these words in front of my mother or grandmother. This mail man spat them out oblivious to the fact that my husband was horrified for the women behind him.

"The poor girls in the back!" He said referring to the 50+ year old ladies in the warehouse. He may have got some for that... Kisses of course. Or a good hardy back rub. ;)

What I've been thinking about however is how quickly it all went to hell. Why is it such a shock to see it now a days? I get that women are more empowered, independent and all that stuff which I am all for but, when did respect disappear? And I don't want to hear any, 'You have to earn it' shit. People should respect strangers they pass in the street, their mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and yes, even their fathers, husbands, uncles, brothers...

The world we live in these days is amazing. We are all so blessed and lucky to be alive this day and age however sometimes I just wish....

If you want some tips, I just found this brilliant tumblr page with just that! The rules of a gentleman!

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