Monday 29 June 2015

How I write books

Writing for me is cathartic. It's my 'me' time. I don't think I 'll ever be able to look at it as a job. It will always and forever be a hobby, regardless of my success. I like writing. It doesn't feel like work. I think that helps to fuel my desire to get things out there and published. I don't need to be motivated to do it. I just do it.

Stories however are a process. I can never understand how some authors can just start typing and within a few weeks, they have a completed story. I start with an idea, and then before that gets put to paper, I need to have a beginning, middle and an end. If I can't come up with an ending, I can't write a story.

The jot notes are next. I write out each part of the book in scenes, like a movie. I will include the dialogue, the setting, the characters, what everyone is saying, wearing, thinking. It's essentially a chopped up version of the book and probably takes more time than actually writing it. If I get toward the end and want to add a scene but didn't build up to it in the beginning, I am able to go back , add things in without ruining the whole story. There is nothing worse than reading a book where you can tell the author just dropped a paragraph in the middle of a page just for a higher word count. This process, for me, is crucial in having a steady flow. If I know something important is going to happen later on in the book, I can foreshadow it early on, build pages on it.

Once the jot notes are completed, I start the writing process. This is probably the easiest part. The only thing I try to be aware of as I'm writing, before the editing comes around, is that I don't repeat words too often, if I can help it. Thesaurus.com is my best friend. There is only so many times you can say, 'Great' or 'Flirtatious'. Sometimes, its intended, most times its not.


A friend of mine commented once about 50 shades of grey and Ana's use of the term 'Oh My'. Sarah Seltzer wrote a post solely based on this (Thank God for me) ( http://flavorwire.com/503325/holy-moses-oh-jeez-parsing-the-erotic-vocabulary-of-fifty-shades-of-grey)




 
Apparently E.L. James needed thesaurus.com. I can think of at least a dozen words that could replace 'oh my'. That being said, I did use the word 'club' 67 times in Altering Authority however in my defence, the only other words I found in my handy thesaurus were words like honky-tonk, dice joint and saloon.
 
Once the rough draft is typed up, then I have to read it. Multiple times. I get my husband to read it. My sister. My closest friends. They pick out any spelling errors, sentences that sound stupid... Word repetitions. Criticism is tough. Especially for someone like me who cries over EVERYTHING but, if you're going to share your stuff with the world, you kind of have to toughen up. What helps me is knowing that authors like J.K. Rowling, Stephen King and  George R. R. Martin have critics as well. That's life and people are assholes.
 
Do you write? What does your process look like?
 
 


Friday 26 June 2015

Good things about the beard... Yes, i'm making an entire blog post about this...

Some women like the 'tall, dark and handsome' thing. Others prefer a man in a suit. I have a type as well... Its  a man with a big scruffy beard. More so, ginger beards! Sigh. They're the stuff dreams are made of. Jager is kind of... dear I say it (Don't read this husband) the whole package for me. Beard, bike, badassery... I'll even  take it a step further and tell you that jogging pants (Yes, I'm serious) are on that list too (Lets not get carried away. There is a type of jogging pants that are acceptable... No elastic ankles here people. No holey, mustard stained ones either).

I'm shocked to learn that some women don't go for this. More so, some men don't like it either. This is why I've compiled a list of reasons why beards are great.

  1. They instantly turn any man into a badass
  2. Bits of food stuck in it make for great snacks later

     

     
     

     
    I love you Ragnar!
  3. Potential to achieve Viking status
  4. Good for making extra money (Pretend you're homeless)
  5. Tell ladies you were a Sons of Anarchy extra
  6. Always have somewhere to hide things (Like weapons, food...)
  7. Ability to keep you and your friends warm (Like a giant scarf!)
  8. Makes a great disguise
  9. You can use it for a sail on your boat
  10. You can use it for a slide in the winter
  11. You have the option to be a Tom Selleck look-a-like at anytime.
  12. Women cant resist touching it.
  13. You will never be mistaken for a woman
  14. Khal Drogo had one
  15. George Clooney had one
  16. They don't just make you hot in the summer, they make you hot all year round!
  17. People make blog posts about them
  18. Hides acne
  19. You can be a wizard (or at least look like one)
  20. They protect against the sun, therefore, will keep you looking younger and healthier!

Wednesday 24 June 2015

Altering Authority themes (Organized crime, theft and girl fights) according to my 10 year old daughter. I'm a good mom...

Some of you may know that my book, Altering Authority, is a bit of a wild card. The main character, Tatum is a Madam, with a string of strip clubs that she inherited from her mobster-type father. Said strip clubs are hubs for drug and arms dealers, who in turn share their profit with her. She has a temper and knows how to accurately throw knives. She falls in love with Jager, a gang leader who runs an illegal gambling ring out of his clubs basement.

They are shady characters with shady moral compasses which is why I felt it necessary to interview my 10 year old daughter on such themes. I swear, I'm a good mom...  Enjoy!

Monday 22 June 2015

Why you DON'T want to write romance/ adult novels.

My favorite books always include a boy and a girl, a few good 'love' scenes and a happy ending (Not that kind...) where none of the main characters die. I love getting whisked away into this other world where I can have all the feels of a new relationship, of falling in love, being flirted with, seduced without having to feel guilty about cheating on my husband.

When I decided to start writing, romance was the obvious choice. You write what you know, right? Altering Authority had been kind of an on-going daydream for me. I was proud of its twists and turns and thought, this would make a great book. And so I did! I spent MONTHS doing jot notes, writing, editing, re-reading, stressing over characters, losing characters, adding characters, thinking of the perfect love scenes. Those are the parts that draw you in! I read even more books, gained knowledge on how they presented their 'sexy parts' (giggidy). My life was this story. I was so wrapped up in getting it finished, writing those amazing scenes that gave me butterflies. I didn't think of anything else besides the end product. Once it was written, I wrapped myself up in publishing. That became my world, until it happened.

Everyone was so proud. My friends were calling and congratulating me. My neighbors and family were sending flowers. It was amazing... Until they asked to read it.

My mom, who, despite having two grandchildren from me and knowing I've been with my husband for sixteen years still thinks I'm a virgin. My Muslim neighbor who thinks hugging your partner in public is risqué. The moms of the kids I look after before and after school, my great aunts and my husbands grandmother who'd worked in a convent up until retirement, all want to read my book. My book that is about prostitutes, strippers, bikers. My book with... how do I put this because I KNOW these people will also read this blog post(?) ...We will just call it 'Australian kissing scenes'. My daughters best friends mother, whom is thee sweetest lady you'll ever meet, texted me last night to tell me she ordered my book.

Sigh. How do I tell them that my book is NOT autobiographical? How many times do I have to assure them that those parts are NOT based on real life events, How many times do I have to assure them that I'm not a pervert but that I just read, a lot, before I'm comfortable with them reading it?

I'm pretty sure the answer is never. I should have gone with a male pen name. How does Mike Litoris Sound? Jack Mehoof? Ben Mehover?

Friday 19 June 2015

Tattoos and piercings = Horrible, Dangerous people

I've discovered something recently. A friend of mine (Pictured right) on Facebook loves to share encounters he has while working at his costumer service job. People stare at him. Others who are braver confront him, ask to touch him, ask him why he chooses to look the way he does. My  nephew (pictured below) is in this same category.

I'm not talking about some kind of disease or skin condition here people. I'm talking about piercings and tattoos. I don't know many people who aren't tattooed in some form or another. One or two small illustrations seems to be acceptable, but what about the guys and girls who are covered? Arms, neck, legs, face? I get it, I mean, when you are covered in metal and ink, you're going to draw more attention. People will do a double take. I understand that. It's not typical for everyone to look like this. But the stigma that they are dangerous, or criminal seems a bit old fashioned to me. I know more people who aren't tattooed that are insane (myself included) than the ones who are inked and/or pierced.

The tatt'd and pierced people I know, all of them, from the ones with one or two all the way to the ones who are covered and who's bodies are more metal and ink than skin, are thee most amazing, friendliest people. And I'd be lying if I said that they weren't some of the best looking people. I think that's why I gravitate toward characters who fit this category. Besides my mom and people her age (no offence), I think women my age(ish) love a good man with a beard (That's a topic for another day. Beards...Yumm) and lots of tattoos. I think they represent someone who doesn't care what society thinks, someone who thinks for themselves, who like to express who they are and are proud to show it. What's braver than literally wearing your thoughts, interests and beliefs on your skin for the world to see?

When I moved from home (St. John's, Newfoundland), my nephew was only about 9 years old, with a shaved head, tan and clothes from Sport Check . I went back last September to a 6'3, gangly, pasty-white 15 year old with pierced lips, nose and long black and green hair. I loved it, however, he is the oldest of the nieces and nephews. He was my first 'baby'. To me, he is just as much mine as my own kids. I was scared for him. I didn't want people to harass him or look at him for anything other than what he was: The most handsome, amazing little shithead in the world. And, to be honest, he was a shithead. I dragged this kid into timeout when he was two, dangling from my arm by his teeth. I thought when I saw him last year that this look suited him, only to find that he wasn't this evil spawn of Satan anymore but the most polite, mature and grateful teenager I've ever known. I bought him a pair of sneakers, and he thanked me and hugged me at least 10 times for it. For a pair of sneakers?! Who would have thought?!

When girls get full sleeves, I'm always really excited for them, like Yeah! F*&% you society and your 'beauty' standards! Look at this chick ROCKIN' those tattoos and piercings (Same goes when they cut their hair off for some reason but again, that's a different post).

I kind of feel like, being one of the only ones of my friends without tattoos, I need to get something outrageous. Clearly being tattooed and pierced makes for more awesome individuals. Just thinking about it makes me what to be a better person... ;)

What's your opinion?

(Some tattooed friends of mine below.... :)




                            














Wednesday 17 June 2015

Jojo Moyes

Is an author review a thing? Like a book review but for their writers? I have been on a Jojo Moyes binge lately. I started with Me before You and have since read The Girl You Left Behind and just finished One plus One.

I'm obsessed.

When my former book club chose Me before You, I read the synopsis and thought it was a joke. A girl falls in love with a quadriplegic. I honestly expected it to be discriminating and a sick attempt at humor. My bristles were up but I started it, with every assumption that I was going to write a letter to Jojo by the end telling her she was a terrible person and that she should never make fun of anyone's physical condition. Clearly I was pleasantly surprised. It was such a good story. I couldn't praise it enough. Every person who asked me to recommended a book heard the spiel. I was offended when they gave me the same look I'd given my friend who'd suggested it to me. The one that said you're an asshole for reading this. Can you imagine my excitement when I learned that not only was it being made into a movie but it was starring Emilia Clarke (Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones) and Sam Claflin (Finnick Odair in the The Hunger Games). Swoon.


After that I was hooked and started the next. I can say with almost complete and utter conviction that The girl you left behind is my favorite book to date. I cried so hard! I wasn't even embarrassed when my husband walked in to me sitting cross-legged on the couch with tears streaming down my face. He thought I was having some sort of early mid-life crisis I'm sure. If you're a fan of war-time stories I recommend it. If you're a fan of Romance, I recommend it. If you're a fan of Paris, life, art, glass houses and head-strong women, I recommend it. Unlike Me before You, this one has a surprise happy ending. Just when you think it's all gone down hill, that your tears were for naught and you'll never recover, Miss Moyes turns it around and saves the day (and my heart, thankfully).




The most recent book I've read was One plus One. For some reason, I felt strangely connected to the main character. She is a struggling, single mother who cleans homes and works in a bar for a living. Her ex-husband is a dick, her son is not biologically hers and her daughter is a math whiz. The only thing I have in common with this woman is the daughter (and maybe the money struggle...) however Jojo wrote it so well  that I feel like anyone could relate to her.

I don't want her books to ever end and I'm scared that soon I will have read all of them and will have to wait until she writes new ones. I'm not a patient person. Waiting kills me!

Have you read any Jojo Moyes books? What did you think?


 

Monday 15 June 2015

I'm giving up.

Since starting the process of having Altering Authority published, I swear I've gained at least twenty pounds. I can spend literally ALL DAY reading articles about publishing, promoting, marketing, blog tours, book tours, book launches... There is no end to the plethora of self-publishing links.

I've tried all of them. Even this blog is a recommendation from one of the 837,482,374,893,789 websites I have visited about marketing. And yes, I did just smash my face on the keyboard to come up with that number.

I'm exhausted.

No two websites have the same information. There is no one way to sell a book. People are lazy and don't have the patience or time to scroll through Google+ all day long reading articles about why they should read your novel. When was the last time you did? Have you ever searched 'Giveaway' on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook? More so, have you ever won?

There's my point.

The minute you publish, your one book will tumble, brightly at first and then gradually dimmer and dimmer, into the vast universe that is the internet along with the 600,000 to 1,000,000 other copies that are produced EVERYDAY! And that's just in the U.S.!

However, each new book you publish falls into this universe as well, where they meet up with the others like them, that have your name scrawled on the front cover in an expensive font that you paid for online, and their light grows and grows until your name is shining brightly like Nora Roberts, James Patterson, Philippa Gregory and Christine Feehan.

These people have dozens of books under their names! They are bound to be recognized at some point. The fact that they can actually write is an even bigger reason why they are where they are. They've had lots of practice. They've struggled like me and I assure you, when they started writing, the term 'social media' didn't exist.

That being said, I think I will take a break from stressing out over the things I'm forgetting or the things the blogs tell me to do that I just really really don't want to. I'll put my energy into book two, book three...

... and then hopefully...

Altering Authority is on sale!!!

Just thought I'd let you in on a little secret... Altering Authority is on sale for this week only! 67% off! That's huge!

Click here to go to the amazon page to check it out.

Friday 12 June 2015

Promoting my new little baby story in a sea of bigger, more popular stories who all have lots of friends and contacts... The struggle is real.

New Author...The struggle is real.

I've imagined publishers emailing me, begging me to come over to their side. My neighbors and other members of my community recognizing me as I walk my kid to school, "Aren't you that new author of that amazing book?". I've dreamt of movie deals and one million likes on my Facebook page. Rags to riches stories like Amanda Hockings.

My book has been out for two months and the first couple of weeks I was on a high. I was selling EVERYDAY. I promoted it very little, aside from the occasional post on Facebook for friends and family to see. Reviews came in (All 5 stars) and I was so proud, elated that people saw in my story, everything I did. It REALLY is a great story!

Then I realized that the only people who knew about my book were the people on my Facebook feed. The majority of people buying, were these same people. I branched out to my community's page and with shaking hands, put myself out there. My catholic, church-going neighbors now knew that I wrote a book containing bikers, gangs, prostitutes and sex.

Still, things were slowing down. I started hash tagging everything on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest. I started a giveaway on Goodreads and on my Publishing Facebook page, I created my own website, read dozens of articles about self-marketing and promoting for new authors on Pinterest and aside from a few likes, still nothing, which leads me to believe that, while social media is the best source for promoting an indie author such as myself, my outlets lie elsewhere.

How do you promote yourself in a world where ANYONE can publish a book? Where there are probably thousands of people who, like me, feel like their story is the best? Where everyone else has been promoting for a thousand years and have written thirty trillion stories and have guest spots regularly on blogs with a bazillion followers?

Did you know there are best selling adult stories out there about Sasquatch (Sasquatches?) and having sex with a bear?! These have won awards(!) and while I'm sure they've been remarkably written, I'm sure the audience for them is far less than the audience who like a good, human love story. I could be wrong though...

I haven't figured it out yet. I'm hoping that one day I will look back at this post and think about how naïve I was but for now, I'll just keep doing what I love most, writing.