Monday 28 December 2015

On turning 30...




I've been dreading my Birthday this year for as long as I can remember. My heart constricts and I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. As I was lying in bed last night however I realized something. I like who I am as I'm going into my 30's. For the first time, I'm ok with me.

My 20's were confusing. I grew up too fast - had my first baby at 19, my second at 23 and got married somewhere in between. My friends were out partying, traveling, finishing school and I thought that that was what I was supposed to be doing too. I finished school, left the country for a vacation - with husband and baby in tow - for the first time and hit up a few clubs along the way as well. I made memories, new friends and ok-ish money.

My friends and I would swap stories ("Remember that time that we got so drunk?"), make more plans to do it again, share pictures of our travels but all the while, it didn't feel right to me.

As I got later into my 20's, we got a little bit classier. Drinking wine and hanging out at Starbucks like the typical white girl was chosen most of the time over clubbing and all-nighters. I'd swallow that red like it was the most delicious thing I'd ever tasted, trying to conceal the grimace I was internally making. I'd order coffee, hot and bitter, drown it in milk and sugar until I could deal with the taste because at this age, I was 'supposed' to like wine and coffee. I went along with my religion. I went to church and would ask for forgiveness when I swore or thought something impure about another human being. I hung the crosses and rosary beads around the house to show everyone that yes, I was a Christian - all the while questioning everything I read about 'God' and the bible, but never voicing my opinions out loud.

I sent my daughter to school because ALL teachers are nice, friendly, loving. I believed those teachers when they told me that "something wasn't right" with her. They tossed around words like A.D.D and autism and so, with a heavy heart, I dragged her from specialist to specialist, trying to get a diagnosis because hey, the teachers had to be right, right? When the doctors looked at me like a crazy person and shook their heads saying, "Your daughter is fine. She's 100% normal", it clicked.

She was normal. Quirky as hell but normal. And I loved her for it. She was and is unapologetically herself. At 10 years old she knows who she is and what she believes and doesn't care about what everyone tells her she is supposed to be.

That was when it started for me.

I thought about all the years I've spent trying to conform. To be what I was 'supposed' to be and I hated it! How many years have I spent trying to lose weight so that I'd look the was I was 'supposed' to? Praying to a God who believes that I'm a sinner simply for having my period and that anyone or thing that comes into contact with me during that time is unclean? Swallowing red wine despite the fact that the mere smell of it makes me nauseous. Even worse was allowing other people to label my child - the one who loves to learn about politics, hasn't scored below 'above average' on a report card since she's started school and sits down with a group of adults and talks to them about current world events, making them feel less than 'normal' - as 'special needs'.

With a week left in my 20's, I am more me than I have been in my entire life. I'm not going to go to a club because my friends are. I HATE clubs! I always have! I'm fat, and fine with it. I do believe in God - absolutely, just not the one that everyone says I'm supposed to believe in. My God wants me to be happy. To live my life the way I want to so long as I'm doing it in a safe manner, and making the world a little better in the process.

Some days I'm a writer. Some days an artist, a mom, a wife, a woman, sister, daughter, napper (Yes, a napper).

I'm not one thing. I don't fit into one mould and I have no intention of ever doing so. And most importantly, as I turn 30, I realize I'm ok with that.




Oh! This reminds me... I have a couple of days left for my Facebook giveaway! I'm drawing on my Birthday (Jan 8th). Click here to check it out. :)

Sunday 27 December 2015

Crazy Canuck New Years Blog Hop & Top 10 reasons why Canadians write better romance novels...

Be sure to enter the Crazy Canuck Blog hop contest after reading this (Details at the end of the list)! You can enter to WIN 17 books for your new devices from 17 CANADIAN AUTHORS! Sorry for shouting. I'm REALLY excited!
 
Without further adieu...
 
  1. It get's REALLY cold here. Rather than bundling up, we prefer to find more exciting ways to stay warm...inside. What's more, after getting hot and steamy, we most certainly do NOT want to venture out and therefore curl up by a nice fire and write about our activities.
  2. The majority of Canada is wilderness - nature at it's finest really. So you could say we are in tune with nature... and what's more natural than - ahem - romance?
  3. Compared to other countries, Canada's population is relatively small. All that wilderness and so few people. The term 'There are plenty of fish in the sea' stands true in the literal sense however, when it comes to finding spouses, not so much. We have to do what we can to hold on to our partners! Being kinky is a survival necessity!
  4. We are known for our beavers. Enough said.
  5. We name town's after... things. Romance is literally everwhere! With places named 'Dildo' (Yes, I'm serious), 'Conception Bay', and 'Cupids', it's hard to escape dirty thoughts when they are literally where you live.
  6. We're lovers, not fighters. No one hates Canada. We don't start wars because we're too busy trying to stay warm.
  7. Our premier looks like he could be Mr. Darcy, or the man you've been reading about. Seriously. He runs our country...
     
  8. We are ALWAY'S polite. It's not as if we are super-human. Everyone get's angry, let's be honest. We just don't show it externally. We save all of our pent up aggression for... writing. Even Canadians have to be naughty now and then.
  9. Our landscape. With places like Lake Louise, Petty Harbour, Niagara Falls and the Rocky Mountains, it's hard not to be inspired!
  10. We are adventurous! With so much wilderness to explore, it's hard to stay indoors (When it's not cold of course). Encounters with grizzly's and mountain lions tend to get your heart racing... and then grateful for the person beside you for protecting you all alone in that forest. Besides that, we were brave enough to try poutine, and then to recommend it. Seriously, have you tried one? It's freaking delicious!
 
 
 
 
I've been so excited to share this with you all! Author Lisa Emma (Mostly Lisa) and I have set up a Crazy Canuck Blog hop! The theme is, 'Fill your new devices with Books from Canadian authors'. The books and author's we have include:


Altering Authority by Ashley Dooley
Dead and Kicking by Lisa Emme
Something in the Air by Marie Landry
Magic Resistant by Veronica DelRosa
The Naughty List by Cori Vidae
Firefly: Ice Born by P.M. Pevato
Thirteen by Shannon Peel
Enemy Within by Marysol James
Questing for a Dream by P.D. Workman
Vice by Rosanna Leo
Lakeshore Secrets by Shannyn Leah
Guarding Midnight by Kacey Hammell
3013:Renegade by Susan Hayes
The Raven Room by Ana Medeiros
Alien Next Door: Complete Series by Jessica E. Subject
Slow Ride Home by Leah Braemel
One Gold Heart by Sadie Haller
 
 
That's SEVENTEEN new books for you! Did I mention that you can WIN these books? Plus two Chapter-Indigo gift cards!
 
The links below will get you to where you need to go to enter. Be sure to click the little froggie and check out the other blogs as well! Good Luck!
  
 
 





Tuesday 1 December 2015

F#@$! I hate promoting!








I know that a lot of authors publish books and then leave it at that. No promoting, no marketing, just laying it all out there and hoping for the best. Some authors do well with this method - if your story is good enough, it will promote itself, right? - others not so much.

I know that promoting works, I've done it and so far, the Authority series has done pretty well however I still haven't had the kind of response I thought I'd have. I worked hard on these books. It was a long process (one that still isn't over yet) and I guess I was hoping that more people would be eager to share it, respond to it and be involved. That isn't the case though.

I'm an anxious person - like, really anxious. I stay awake at night wondering why it isn't doing as good as it should. Am I being a pain in the ass by talking about it so much? Am I following the right steps to ensure it's name gets out there on Instagram, Facebook, Google+, Twitter*DeepBreath*GoodReadsBlogsMyspaceTumblr... *Exhale*. This list goes on forever... I'm not interested in paying to promote on these outlets. I want to do this as cost-effectively as I can even though I know that it would probably help...

The problem is is that with Facebook, you are preaching to your friends, family and old high school nemesis' who are only on there to see if you've gotten fat (I have), addicted to drugs (No, but I'm sure I could this time of year) or have had ugly children ( I win on the baby-making front! They're gorgeous!). If they weren't the first ones to buy your books, they aren't going to. Instagram has a bajillion 'Authors', most of whom have publishers to promote for them and the entire day to sit around and come up with promo pics and contests. I'm a stay at home mom who homeschools my daughter and looks after the neighborhood kids. Cooking, cleaning, eating and sleeping come along at some point and before I know it I'm laying in bed telling my husband, "Not tonight, I'm too tired" and stressing over the fact that I didn't sell a book that day, post 5 pictures on Instagram or update my Fans on Facebook about my new cover reveal for the next series I'm starting. Did I bathe Darius? Does Brooklynn have that play date tomorrow?

I'm exhausted and at the end of my wits. When did writing and my book - the one that I love, fanaticize about and cherish like my child - become a chore? It's easy to get sucked into the Googolplexian (It's a real number) articles on Pinterest (Should I create a board for my books?) about marketing your novels and they all seem so easy when you're reading them but then one article sends you a link to another article and so on and before you know it you're watching a tutorial on how to apply fake eyelashes as a moustache to your cat to accentuate it's ears and wondering what the f$#@ this has to do with promoting.

 My brain cant keep up with it.

I want to go back to a time when I was excited for my books, not filled with anxiety. I want their content to speak for itself and mostly I just want to sit back and write more. I want to stop stressing over whether or not I should go to a writers convention, do a book signing or host another contest.

I guess the real question here is to promote? Or not to promote? Do I leave it all up to faith and trust in the storyline or do I ensure that they are in readers faces, a constant reminder that, "Hey! Here is an amazing book just waiting to be read?"