Dear Matt...

Dear Matt,

Can you even read this? Where are you? I imagine its kind of like another dimension, not a destination. I think you're still here, you can see us, hear us. Its just your body that's gone.

I have so many questions.

Was it worth it? Do you feel better? Are you still you? Was this your plan all along or was it a spur of the moment kind of thing. You didn't write me back on Thursday. Did you finish that poem you were telling me about?

Can you see how much you are loved now? Did we tell you enough when you were here? Did we tell you how smart you are were? How happy you make made us? How funny, amazing, talented and handsome you are  were? My god, you are were handsome.

Did you change your mind just as it was too late? Did it hurt?

Do you think its possible to become dehydrated from crying? Am I an asshole for writing this? Am I too sad? Not sad enough?

I miss you today.

Was there anything I could have done differently that would have kept you here? Did you see the group conversation on Facebook yesterday with all of our old gang? I'm grateful that that happened.

I'm grateful to you for a lot of things. Your ability to crack me up with your disgusting, offensive jokes. You are were a bad bastard.

Your listening skills.

For opening my eyes to the fact that depression and addiction doesn't have a single face. There are no characteristics. You were funny. You laughed. You were in great shape and athletic. You were a great friend and wouldn't hurt a mouse. You prayed. You loved your family. You cared about your appearance.

For New years. Staying up and chatting and keeping me company.

For walking out of your house when you saw me last September and hugging me.

For that night with your brothers Jeep. I promise, I'll never tell him how it really got beat up.

For introducing me to Root beer and Rum. So good.

For always messaging me. Texting me. Opening up to me with your deepest, darkest secrets. For sharing your journal with me and your poems. Did I tell you how talented you are were?

For being honest when I knew it was hard for you. I'm glad you trusted me enough to show me the worst.

I hope wherever you are you feel relieved. I don't know anyone who struggled like you did. I hope nobody is saying anything bad about you.

How's your pop handling this?

I didn't give you that drawing you wanted. You didn't get the tattoo.

Did I tell you about the dream I had of you as an old man, terrorizing the retirement home in a custom wheel-chair that you built to reach speeds of over 100km/hour with those shitty, ugly matte rims you wanted to put on your car?

I wanted you to get married, have kids. I wanted you to do the public speaking like we talked about, to finish your books like we talked about.

I wanted you to finally be happy. I hope that wherever you are now, you are.

I'll miss you forever...

I'm not typical...

Right now is usually my designated writing time. I devote these next few hours to my books while my husband cleans away supper dishes and the kids play at the park or in their rooms however, upon procrastinating and checking my Facebook, I see these videos about girls and how they like to snuggle. They want a man to hold them when they're crying. They want to cuddle after sex. They want romance and someone to watch hours upon hours of Netflix with.

I kind of look at them like, are you insane? I'm probably going to get a bit of slack for this and I should definitely mention that there is NOTHING wrong with girls like this. As I said, I think its typical for women...right? I just cant seem to grasp why? Don't get me wrong. I love my husband. We are junior high sweethearts and have been dating since I was thirteen years old. He is the love of my life, an amazing father, husband and person. As I type this, he's making supper for our kids after just vacuuming the floor and cleaning out the garage. I'm pretty lucky! I know not many men do this and again, I wonder why? Is it because their women don't think they can handle it? It's not their job?

Anyway, back on track. I love time to myself. All day long I am spent tending to kids (I look after a whole bunch of the neighborhood children during the day while their parents are working). My house is (usually) immaculate. I do hair sometimes in the evenings and write my book too. I'm exhausted. The last thing I want to do is give my time over to somebody else every night. I need to turn off my brain, replace it with some kind of mind-numbing TV show. I don't have the mental energy left to spend hours chatting about how my day was, what I want to do over the weekend, my goals in life or the trials and tribulations of the Buddhist Monks.

Occasionally, I want to go out. I want romance (I write romance books for God sakes) however the minute my husband starts calling me baby girl, buying me $90 bouquets of flowers, or having Josh Groban serenade me, he is getting a smack up the side of his head. Romance to me is surprising me with a Frappuccino, giving me a foot rub or volunteering to do the dishes without me having to beg or prostitute myself out to him (If you do the dishes, i'll...Wink Wink). It kind of sucks. Billy is great at sweet talk. He throws that shit around like beads at Mardi Gras. In turn, I usually laugh in his face. I mean, I appreciate it. If he were to stop doing it I'd be upset, I'd miss it however I just cant take him seriously when he's talking like Barry White and is all like, "You know baby, If I had to choose between breathing and loving you, I'd use my last breath to say I love you." Blah! Gross!

Maybe this is TMI ( I know this is TMI) but I don't get it how after sex, girls want to cuddle?! Man, NO! I'm sweaty and exhausted. I've got to get up in a few hours. Roll over that way, I'll roll that way and our feet can snuggle a bit. How's that? I just gave you my everything. I told you I loved you and showed you the most affection anyone is capable of showing. I followed through on that deal we made yesterday for you doing the dishes. It's time to sleep. I DEFINITELY do not want to stay up all night talking. We had supper time for that. We have from the time you get home from work up until the time we go to bed to do that. Don't save it all up until 10:30 on Tuesday night so that we can talk about our ambitions in life...? Does anyone actually enjoy that?

This guy knows the way to my heart

Don't get me wrong. I believe that you need to build your man up, as he does you but rather than being the kind of woman who looks woefully into my husbands eyes, bats my eyelashes shedding a single tear and says, "Darling, the stars in the nights sky don't shine nearly as bright as your eyes" or "You are truly my soul mate and I want to spend every single breath with you" I'm more likely to say (as I lick his nostril) "Marriage is forever..." in my creapiests whisper and with the widest eyes I can muster or "Man, Billy, your ginger beard is what dreams are made of. I want to frolic in its magnificent-ness. "

Lastly, I feel like I'm an anomaly because of catty-ness. Its a real thing! My mother, I love her to pieces, she's an amazing woman but she believes that everything everyone says is  a jab at her. And I know she's not the only one! "Sally told me today my shirt was beautiful. She said she had one just like it but it was too big so she exchanged it.... What do you think she meant by that? She's calling me fat isn't she? Who does she think she is?" or, "My boss at work today told me I was doing an amazing job and out of all his employees, he values me the most. Can you believe him? Mocking me like that?"

I'm not saying it doesn't happen. It does. Women are crazy. I, however, honestly don't have the mental capacity to come up with that shit. And when someone says something to me, and if they are being catty, I wouldn't catch on right away anyways, unless they outright said, "Ashley, you're a disgusting bitch and I hate you."  I don't think like that.

Sigh, Don't even get me started on my taste in music. Sure, Taylor Swift is lovely. Katy Perry, great! But... is there something wrong with me because I love a good Rob Zombie tune? Is any other female still upset that My Chemical Romance is dead? Is it ok that the most used playlist on my Songza app is Pole dancing Rock?! Am I alone in all of this ladies? Am I too butch?
I just don't know anymore...

Sorry for any females I've offended by this...because that's another thing we do. Get offended over someone else's ideas....

My kind of romance



Best Selling author, Airicka Phoenix Interview!

Last week I had the pleasure of chatting with Bestselling author, and fellow Canadian, Airicka Phoenix about her experience so far as a writer. This girl is hilarious! Check out our interview and don't forget to show some love on her Social media links.



Where are you from? That really depends on who you ask. Canadians call it Winnipeg, Manitoba. The rest of the world calls it a patch of green somewhere near Ontario. I call it the place that amped my hatred of snow and cold things.


How long have you been writing? Since about the first grade. The teachers were insistent. But my love of writing didn’t actually develop until I was in the third grade. That was back when they had rock tablets and stone arrowheads. That was also around the time the wheel was invented so that was pretty exciting.

How many books published? There are eighteen books to date and three short stories.

How did you feel when someone read your stuff for the first time? Flattered. Honored. Excited. They could pick a million other books to read, but they chose mine so it’s always really flattering.

How do you feel about your parents, grandparents, neighbors... reading it? My young adult stuff, no big deal. I toss that stuff around like Mardi Gras beads. My new adult and adult stuff … I like to think that the people who know me, pretty much know to expect a lot of adult fun stuff in my new adult and adult books. Lol.

What kinds of things do you do for promotion? Tours. Giveaways. Lots of giveaways. My publicist and my management team is a huge force behind all that.

What are peoples reaction when you tell them you're an author? “Aw! That’s so cute. Okay, but really, what do you actually do?” lol. No, I’m partially kidding. It depends on where I am and who I’m talking to. Book people, people who love to read think it’s fantastic and I’ve had a lot of people who don’t read tell me that’s incredible. I know a lot of authors have a hard time with being taken seriously, but I’ve thankfully been pretty lucky.

How do you stay inspired? By reminding myself I’m too old to find a new dream. Kidding. My readers actually keep me inspired. They motivate me to keep writing and putting myself out there. Seeing and feeling the love I get after each piece is absolutely magical.

What do you do when you get writers block? I would like to say I’m too cool for that, but let’s face it, it happens to the best of us. I do, however, try not to let it hold me down. My first write through is usually a series of broken paragraphs with the occasional (fix this crap!) reminder inserted at random parts. Then I just keep writing, or I’ll write the parts that speak the loudest to me and sew it all together during edits.

What kinds of shows do you watch? Oh, well, how much time do you have? I am a professional Netflix watcher. I will watch seven seasons in a week. I love horror (American Horror Story, Constantine), criminology (Criminal Minds, Bones, Fringe, Dexter), Supernatural (Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Originals, Haven, Charmed, Once Upon A Time, Ghost whisperer), then everything else (Nikita, Firefly, Revenge, Blacklist, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, Pretty Little Liars, How I Met Your Mother, Leverage). Like I said, there are a lot. Lol.

How long does it take for you to pump out a book? I usually have two months between each book. It doesn’t seem like it when I release a book every month to two months, but each book was written two months ago and is in cue waiting to be released. So in July, I’m actually writing Sept/Oct’s release. Normally it takes about a month to two months to write a full piece, depending on the book.

What does your writing process look like? It really depends on the book. Sometimes, it just pours out and it’s all there and it doesn’t require a lot of intensive research. Other times, I have a Beautiful Minds thing going on across my wall that involves string and colored post-its.

What are your favorite books? That’s kind of like asking what my favorite chocolate is, or my favorite child. I have been in love with reading for so long and each book I’ve read has such a special place in my heart so it’s impossible to answer that question. Honestly, it would be like writing a phonebook.

 

Thank you so very much for having me. It was truly such an honor and a pleasure.

Love Always, Airicka

Don't forget to check out Airicka's links as well guys!

Website: www.AirickaPhoenix.com

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/VgLqD

Amazon.com: http://goo.gl/Nq57nJ

Facebook: http://goo.gl/eYXrrh

Twitter: http://goo.gl/yoVWYF (@AirickaPhoenix)

Goodreads: Airicka: http://goo.gl/HGVszf

Google+ Airicka: http://goo.gl/wgdslQ

Instagram: http://goo.gl/QRmqdy

Pinterest: http://goo.gl/Y5AOQq

Why you should read more books by local authors...

I completely forgot about my Goodreads Giveaway! There is only 9 days left to enter to win one of 3 copies of Altering Authority. I'll even sign it for you! The link is here for you to enter.

With that I will give you my list of why you should read my book, Altering Authority (or any book by a local author for that matter).

1. Each time you purchase a book, Amazon bumps it up a little bit on a list. When it gets so far, they will help you promote for free.
2. Authors make very little commission from books. Its not glamorous. It doesn't make us more successful. What it does do is give us a little extra income (In the long run) for the little things like helping out with my daughters braces or going toward the cover for book two.
3. We work REALLY hard writing that book. The road to publishing is a long one. There is the jot notes, the writing, the editing (So much editing), the proof reading, the cover designing, the formatting (So much formatting) and then the publishing. Don't even get me started on promoting!
4. Publishing It's scary! Putting yourself out there in the world for EVERYONE to criticize is daunting and there is always going to be someone to criticize. I know that Altering Authority is far from grammatically correct but nonetheless, there it is. It kind of feels like you've just eaten an amazing turkey dinner, stuffed yourself silly with it because you've been waiting all year for it and then you were forced to go stand outside naked and let everyone discuss your girth. Sometimes people are nice and they will see only the good in you (Thank God this seems to be the case so far with my book). Lots of the time people will see where you are lacking and feel obligated to comment on it. Shitty, right? 
5. Reading is fun! You get to imagine your own world, put yourself in someone else's shoes. Like George R.R. Martin said, "A reader lives a thousand lives. The man who never reads lives only one."
6. There's nothing good on TV right now anyways. Sons of Anarchy is over, Game of Thrones, The Originals, Agents of Shield are all done for the season. What else is there?
7. Positive reviews are AMAZING! Imagine giving birth to a baby. Taking said baby out into the world  to show off because you are so proud of this thing you've created, this part of you that you worked so hard to conceive and everyone grimacing at it, telling you its not good enough. You'd be crushed! Now, imagine people telling you how exceptional, fun, beautiful and amazing this baby is. Its a high unlike no other! The same goes for reviews.
8. Walmart, Chapters and Indigo make loads of money! Buy from amazon and, like I said in number two, you're helping out a person directly.
9. You could learn something new! Like how to have sex in a bathtub or prison cell! How long it would take someone to pass out after having their fingers cut off or what color scrubs inmates wear in California. Truly invaluable information.
10. You get to have an affair, without having an affair. Lets be honest. You've thought about Charlie Hunnam, Travis Fimmel and Jason Momoa doing filthy things to you. Now imagine those images in your head, already thought out for you! It's the guilt-free, lazy way to cheat, without the guilt. Aside from that, you're husband will love you more for it because at the end of each of those steamy chapters, you'll need somewhere to take out your... frustration? Elation?

 

 

 



You're welcome ladies, but don't touch. They're mine... All three of them. Buy my book and I'll share... Maybe.

 

Facebook interview with the naughty author Kassandra Cross... You'll never believe how her husband feels about her profession!

Yesterday I had the honor of interviewing fellow author Kassandra Cross! So nice and down to earth, I had a hard time (Pun intended) separating this sweet woman from the erotica-writing author of such books as Sex with the CEO, and The Babysitters first time.

Read through our conversation and be sure to click on her links to check her out. You wont believe what her husband thinks of her profession!

 

 

You can check out Kassandra's Facebook page here.  and her Instagram here.

Guest post from Cassandra Carpio, Book Reviewer

I first came into contact with Cassandra on Instagram. This girl loves her books and <3's anything and everything pertaining to them! I direct messaged her, thanking her for consistently liking my posts and offered up Altering Authority for her scrutiny. With baited breath, I sheepishly waited for this girl (with dark lips and eyes, her posts displayed on a Ouija board cloth), to respond, not entirely expecting her to. To my surprise, within minutes we were chatting as if we'd been friends all along. When I asked her to help me out with a post, she was just as excited as I was!  I hope you'll check her out on Instagram (Click here) and on her website where she has some great reviews, naturally (Click here).

 

Without further ado, here is our Q and A!

 

What do I look for in a book as a reviewer: I love it when the pace reflects perfectly on the plot. Sometimes authors create a fantasy world that is too slow and it's a big let down. Something that will always make me pick up a book is romance. Be it a side thing or the main plot line, I have to have some romance or I will most likely lose interest from the beginning. Also, I think we can all agree here, when the author brings something completely unique to the table. Something nobody else has even thought about portraying, not even the reader. The awe experienced after such a feat is accomplished is out of this world and addicting to say the least.

                                                                      What I love in a book: I always looking for the next incredible plot twist. I've read so many books that most often than not I see the plot twist coming a million miles away. It's a fresh breath of air when the author manages to make the world come crashing down on me when I least expect it. And when it's done more than once in a book, I am in love!  I absolutely love it when the author manages to make me forget that I'm reading about fictional characters. When the world is turned from 2D to 3D without my noticing is one of the best feelings I could ever experience. When the plot is so incredible that I am experiencing it alongside the character, if not in their shoes. When the author turns me from a spectator to a character. I also love it when a book manages to make me cry, full body-wracking sobs. It sounds pretty messy but it only proves that the author has my heart in the palm of their hands. I also have a weakness for books told in a male perspective. I love to witness the passion behind their every action and emotion.

What I hate in a book: Rushed romances and declarations of "love." Build-up in a romance is crucial tot he plot line and overall experience of the reader. Have them have sex too early, it's mostly a physical thing. Make them say "I love you" too early and it's a lie. Nobody falls in love in three minute. You fall in awe, in lust, but not in love. When the author has the main character have a best friend and delivers poorly. I have high expectations for friendships. They must have a depth to them not matched by anybody else in the character's life. I've seen so many authors portray best friends as excessive name-calling sexual beings. Excessive swearing will not make me believe they are best friends. Also, when the title has nothing to do with the plot. I've seen a couple of these. The title sounds like a fantasy but it's a taboo romance... I'm left with a "what the heck?" 

My motto for reviewing is 'Quality over Quantity.' I have read 500+ page books that can't begin to compare to the depth a 200 page novel did. It's all in the world-building. When it's done wrong, everything else falls with it. 

Favorite book/s: I have a few but the book that will always have the number one spot in my heart is 'The Exceptions' by David Cristofano. I read it last month and I was not prepared at all for it. It broke me and mended me better than the last. It's told in a male's perspective and that already had me in the palm of his hand. The main character, Jonathan, has set the bar incredibly high for every other male I read about. His emotions were raw and true to ho he is at heart. The plot is violent, family oriented, and passionate. Jonathan has no problem giving up everything in order to protect the one he loves and ensure she is completely safe from his mafia family. The ultimate price and he pays it with his head held high. I have never read nor felt emotions like I did with this book. There are MANY quotes in it that I felt down to my bones. Love is exploited in the rawest and most undeniable form. You can't help who you fall for... even if it means the death of everything you once were, a lesson Jonathan learns alongside the reader. If I could recommend one book for the rest of my life, this one would be it.

 

 

 

Cassandra is on Goodreads as well. Click Here to check her out.

Books all children should have... If your parents are criminals.

Raising kids is tough. I think of women who are actually like Tatum, the main character in my novel Altering Authority, who steps in and becomes a mother figure to Jager's boys after their mother dies and I cant help but wonder how they can just jump in and pick up where another woman has left off. What if you have no motherly instincts whatsoever? Surprisingly Tatum did. But if she hadn't, I expect some of these books may have ended up on her boy's book shelves.

Because learning about the judicial system at an early age is core!

Making Mommy and Daddy proud is important

If you're going to sell drugs, you should know what to expect!

Because supporting each other is what families do!

You can never be too prepared.

Mama's not the only one who can run a good flop house!

Sometimes, you just gotta do what needs to be done!

Helping out financially is good. Creating your own business is priceless.

For when it's take your kid to work day...

Again. Being prepared is important!

!

Because some of them are even shadier than uncle Bobo.

 

Wussy Females and why I love Tatum from Altering Authority.

Write this down right now. I will NEVER write about a wussy, whining, submissive female (eg. Anastasia Steele), unless she is the butt of a joke, about to be killed off or going through an amazing transformation.


I have no idea where it comes from with me. My mother HATES it when I don't cook my husband supper, make him lunch for work, or have him do housework. She believes that the kids need to be taken care of by their mother and that the father, while present, should be able to sit down with is feet up and be taken care of. That mindset KILLS me. It could be that she raised me alone, by herself. She  kept the house spotless, built whatever furniture had to be put together, did what she had to do to keep my clothed, fed and happy.

Either way, the helpless, innocent female pisses me off. I certainly don't know anyone like it. All of my friends certainly aren't like it. They're more likely to kick you in the teeth than they are to faint or swoon over a disturbing thought or a well dressed man. Don't get me wrong, I LIKED the fifty shades books however, Ana infuriated me. Not because she put up with Christian (She's a grown ass woman), but because she was so damn whiny.

When I set out writing The Authority Series, I knew how I wanted to portray Tatum. She wouldn't be the blubbering, uncertain, clumsy, self-conscious female that the media has become so obsessed with. She would be badass, slightly insane (Ok, a lot insane), bold and brash. She would take on gender stereo-types (She's a pimp who owns a chain of strip clubs...).
Despite the adversity she faced in Altering, she took care of business. One of my favorite quotes from book two is, "Sure, she’d cried. She missed him but she didn’t fall apart the way everyone expected her to. They were waiting for it. God, she was entitled to it however the boys needed her and he wasn’t getting out with her wallowing away in her own tears and sorrow."

I know that the men like to be the 'hero's but sometimes, somewhere out there, they have to realize that we call the shots or at the very least we are their equals. And the women that let men think otherwise, allow themselves to believe otherwise, need more women like Tatum in the media to show them that we kick ass.


 

I don't understand why the men get to have all the fun?
Know what would be a great book? Fifty Shades of Ana. Lets let her be the rich, successful dominant who has a sexy, innocent man beg her, submit to her. Let her smack him around.





I like that shit...





Also, I think I know what my next series will be about.

Overweight frumpy mom

It's no secret that since having my kids, I've struggled with my weight. Recently, I've reached my breaking point. Nothing I did was working. I've tried eating more, eating less, exercising more, exercising less, doing every combination of these four things simultaneously. I've done paleo, WeightWatchers, Visalus, Shakeology and most recently, Banting. I'll lose 10 lbs but within a few days its back on.

I have been miserable and it shows. I don't wear my nice clothes. Thinking about wearing them hurts. I need my yoga pants and loose tops because ya know, nothing makes you look thinner than a baggy t-shirt! Makeup is a chore for me. Anything besides a bun and a headband on top of my head makes me want to die.

Until today.

I feel like I've had a revelation. I discovered a video of a girl who's name is Loey Lane (Instagram: LoeyBug). This girl is beautiful and loves to wear bikinis. She is also plus-sized. Ladies like Tara-Lynn and Ashley Graham (Instagram: TheAshleyGraham) have also opened my eyes. They are all stunning, confident. Aside from being plus-sized, these ladies always look so put together!

I've decided that rather than making myself feel guilty about eating that burger. Shaming myself for eating that pasta or sitting on my ass at home and watching a movie, I'm just going to take care of myself. I went out and bought some new, non-frumpy clothes and even just that little tiny thing made my outlook so much brighter. I have a plan and while I mostly have always stuck to it, sometimes I need a reminder and a little push in the right direction. Fuck it. I'm fat but I can still feel good about myself. What does the size of my ass or the number on the scale have to do with who I am anyways?

I'll share with you things that make me feel good about myself:

• Shaving my legs and stuff. Everyday. Your armpits are no excuse. There is no reason to let these puppies get away from you. That's gross. Your legs? Meh... Maybe every other day, unless you're really hairy. Same goes for the... you know. If you don't wax it all, or if you're kind of in-between, clean that shit up. Even when your belly hangs over it and you haven't seen it in years, just knowing it looks nice will make you feel better about yourself.
• Exfoliate! There is no better feeling than exfoliating your entire body. Your skin looks and feels amazing (Especially now that you've finally shaved your legs). I use Rocky Mountain Soap Coconut Revitalizing Facial scrub and some exfoliating gloves I bought at Dollarama.
• Moisturize! With your freshly shaven and exfoliated skin, your body will feel like lubricated dolphins in a tub of butter. It's amazing! If you're like me and are too lazy to rub lotion on after your bath or shower, wait for 10 minutes and then get dressed (Because if we're really honest, we didn't become overweight for actually putting any effort into ourselves), buy a giant bottle of baby oil and squirt that shit right into the bathtub. Marinate in it for a bit. If you're a shower type guy, just squirt that all over yourself when you turn off the water. When you get out you just dry yourself off and a way you go.
•   Hair and makeup. Say what you want about conforming to beauty standards and whatever but no one can deny that they feel great when their hair is clean, dried and hell, even styled and they are wearing at least one coat of mascara. There is even a lazy gals way out of this too. Eyelash extensions. You can literally lay on a bed and have someone apply them for you while you nap. Repeat every 2 weeks!
• Lastly, wearing that damn dress and the sexy panties! Sure, you bought them last year when you were dating that guy and getting laid however now they're sitting in the drawer, neatly folded and collecting dust (Just like your vagina because you're feeling too shitty about yourself to actually go out and get some... at least you were until this morning when you shaved your legs for the first time in 8 months)... Or you're married like me. You know they are hot and that your ass looks great in them and the matching bra. Throw on that dress -that's-been-sitting-there-for-who-knows-how-long-because-you-think-it-looks-too-formal-and-people-will-wonder-why-you're-all-dressed-up-because-they're-so-used-to-seeing-you-in-your-yoga-pants-and-baggy-t-shirt too. Its just going to waste sitting there. Who cares if you're going to Wal-Mart or just sitting around the house. Fuck it. You'll look great and if that fails, take a goddamn selfie. Post that shit on Facebook and when all of your friends and family tell you how beautiful you look, listen to them. Don't analyze it when Sheryl from book club says, "You look great! What have you been doing?" Just accept it.

I know that taking care of yourself is tough. Especially when you're a mom. You put your kids and husband first with everything however, your health and your outlook on life affects them as much as it does you. There is nothing scarier than watching your 10 year old daughter try to cover herself in her bathing suit because she is insecure with her body, a trait she learned from you.

In the meantime, if you don't feel like doing any of these things and are completely satisfied with yourself, do me a favor? Never change! Oh, and also get a t-shirt that says "Fuck your beauty standards".

 I like that shit...