F#@$! I hate promoting!

I know that a lot of authors publish books and then leave it at that. No promoting, no marketing, just laying it all out there and hoping for the best. Some authors do well with this method - if your story is good enough, it will promote itself, right? - others not so much.

I know that promoting works, I've done it and so far, the Authority series has done pretty well however I still haven't had the kind of response I thought I'd have. I worked hard on these books. It was a long process (one that still isn't over yet) and I guess I was hoping that more people would be eager to share it, respond to it and be involved. That isn't the case though.

I'm an anxious person - like, really anxious. I stay awake at night wondering why it isn't doing as good as it should. Am I being a pain in the ass by talking about it so much? Am I following the right steps to ensure it's name gets out there on Instagram, Facebook, Google+, Twitter*DeepBreath*GoodReadsBlogsMyspaceTumblr... *Exhale*. This list goes on forever... I'm not interested in paying to promote on these outlets. I want to do this as cost-effectively as I can even though I know that it would probably help...

The problem is is that with Facebook, you are preaching to your friends, family and old high school nemesis' who are only on there to see if you've gotten fat (I have), addicted to drugs (No, but I'm sure I could this time of year) or have had ugly children ( I win on the baby-making front! They're gorgeous!). If they weren't the first ones to buy your books, they aren't going to. Instagram has a bajillion 'Authors', most of whom have publishers to promote for them and the entire day to sit around and come up with promo pics and contests. I'm a stay at home mom who homeschools my daughter and looks after the neighborhood kids. Cooking, cleaning, eating and sleeping come along at some point and before I know it I'm laying in bed telling my husband, "Not tonight, I'm too tired" and stressing over the fact that I didn't sell a book that day, post 5 pictures on Instagram or update my Fans on Facebook about my new cover reveal for the next series I'm starting. Did I bathe Darius? Does Brooklynn have that play date tomorrow?

I'm exhausted and at the end of my wits. When did writing and my book - the one that I love, fanaticize about and cherish like my child - become a chore? It's easy to get sucked into the Googolplexian (It's a real number) articles on Pinterest (Should I create a board for my books?) about marketing your novels and they all seem so easy when you're reading them but then one article sends you a link to another article and so on and before you know it you're watching a tutorial on how to apply fake eyelashes as a moustache to your cat to accentuate it's ears and wondering what the f$#@ this has to do with promoting.

 My brain cant keep up with it.

I want to go back to a time when I was excited for my books, not filled with anxiety. I want their content to speak for itself and mostly I just want to sit back and write more. I want to stop stressing over whether or not I should go to a writers convention, do a book signing or host another contest.

I guess the real question here is to promote? Or not to promote? Do I leave it all up to faith and trust in the storyline or do I ensure that they are in readers faces, a constant reminder that, "Hey! Here is an amazing book just waiting to be read?"

I'm giving up.

Since starting the process of having Altering Authority published, I swear I've gained at least twenty pounds. I can spend literally ALL DAY reading articles about publishing, promoting, marketing, blog tours, book tours, book launches... There is no end to the plethora of self-publishing links.

I've tried all of them. Even this blog is a recommendation from one of the 837,482,374,893,789 websites I have visited about marketing. And yes, I did just smash my face on the keyboard to come up with that number.

I'm exhausted.

No two websites have the same information. There is no one way to sell a book. People are lazy and don't have the patience or time to scroll through Google+ all day long reading articles about why they should read your novel. When was the last time you did? Have you ever searched 'Giveaway' on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook? More so, have you ever won?

There's my point.

The minute you publish, your one book will tumble, brightly at first and then gradually dimmer and dimmer, into the vast universe that is the internet along with the 600,000 to 1,000,000 other copies that are produced EVERYDAY! And that's just in the U.S.!

However, each new book you publish falls into this universe as well, where they meet up with the others like them, that have your name scrawled on the front cover in an expensive font that you paid for online, and their light grows and grows until your name is shining brightly like Nora Roberts, James Patterson, Philippa Gregory and Christine Feehan.

These people have dozens of books under their names! They are bound to be recognized at some point. The fact that they can actually write is an even bigger reason why they are where they are. They've had lots of practice. They've struggled like me and I assure you, when they started writing, the term 'social media' didn't exist.

That being said, I think I will take a break from stressing out over the things I'm forgetting or the things the blogs tell me to do that I just really really don't want to. I'll put my energy into book two, book three...

... and then hopefully...

Promoting my new little baby story in a sea of bigger, more popular stories who all have lots of friends and contacts... The struggle is real.

New Author...The struggle is real.

I've imagined publishers emailing me, begging me to come over to their side. My neighbors and other members of my community recognizing me as I walk my kid to school, "Aren't you that new author of that amazing book?". I've dreamt of movie deals and one million likes on my Facebook page. Rags to riches stories like Amanda Hockings.

My book has been out for two months and the first couple of weeks I was on a high. I was selling EVERYDAY. I promoted it very little, aside from the occasional post on Facebook for friends and family to see. Reviews came in (All 5 stars) and I was so proud, elated that people saw in my story, everything I did. It REALLY is a great story!

Then I realized that the only people who knew about my book were the people on my Facebook feed. The majority of people buying, were these same people. I branched out to my community's page and with shaking hands, put myself out there. My catholic, church-going neighbors now knew that I wrote a book containing bikers, gangs, prostitutes and sex.

Still, things were slowing down. I started hash tagging everything on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest. I started a giveaway on Goodreads and on my Publishing Facebook page, I created my own website, read dozens of articles about self-marketing and promoting for new authors on Pinterest and aside from a few likes, still nothing, which leads me to believe that, while social media is the best source for promoting an indie author such as myself, my outlets lie elsewhere.

How do you promote yourself in a world where ANYONE can publish a book? Where there are probably thousands of people who, like me, feel like their story is the best? Where everyone else has been promoting for a thousand years and have written thirty trillion stories and have guest spots regularly on blogs with a bazillion followers?

Did you know there are best selling adult stories out there about Sasquatch (Sasquatches?) and having sex with a bear?! These have won awards(!) and while I'm sure they've been remarkably written, I'm sure the audience for them is far less than the audience who like a good, human love story. I could be wrong though...

I haven't figured it out yet. I'm hoping that one day I will look back at this post and think about how naïve I was but for now, I'll just keep doing what I love most, writing.